I saw some yarn lying on the floor today. It was a lovely, deep, plum purple colour. I picked it up, intrigued. I saw the top of a huge picture of a woman on the label, and I turned the yarn around so I could see all of her – I was wondering what the yarn looked like knit. But the woman wasn’t wearing a hat or a scarf or a poncho made from the lovely purple yarn – no, she was wearing a heavily beaded earing and a pearl-coated tank-top. I was confused. Whats the point of putting a random woman on a yarn label?
Curly silver letters were on the label, too. “Vanna White.” Hm. Perhaps she’s a famous knitter or something. Oh wait…Vanna…isn’t she that person on Jepordy or Wheel of Fortune or something?
More curly letters – far bigger than the last. “Vanna’s Choice.”
The white-toothed, two-tone haired woman who looked younger than she should stared back at me, her sparkling earing flashing. The words above her head said “The yarn for all your projexts. I know you’ll love it as much as I do.”
I don’t think the yarn company’s using Vanna’s face to sell their product - I think they’re trying to scare you into buying it…like threatening a child: “If you don’t buy this yarn…Vanna will eat you!”
If your grandmother had osteoporosis, you could, too. Fight back with Actonel. Your grandmothere’s hump wasn’t a slump. IT was osteoporosis. Over time, with osteoporosis, multiple fractures of the spine can cause the bac to curve, but in severe cases, form a hump. Some risk factors for osteoporosis include Caucasian or Aisan race, family history, small frame or smoking.
“My grandma had osteoporosis” you think. “I’m Caucasian…and I smoked a while ago and have a small frame! I have osteoporosis! Oh no!”
Don’t get scared by ads – I know it’s pretty easy to get sucked into the realm of “what if’s” and “I must have’s”, but it’s a tried and true tactic in the advertising world: fear. We’re always worried when we get a funny pain in our stomach – it might be cancer! The next moment, we see an ad that lists the symptoms of stomach cancer and it says “funny pain in stomach is one of the greatest signs of stomach cancer,” and we flip. It’s a good and frequent tactic used in the advertising world, so be alert.
It’s been said that the Volkswagen Passat has the lowest ego emissions of any German-engineered sedan. Which is nice. Because you get features like those found in high-ego German sedans, but without all those nasty ego emissions. So we’re not about to ruin our low-ego rating with an ad full of boastful, “high-ego” language. We’ll just stick to the facts.
“Great!” you think, “It’s about time some ad did that…”
We submit for evidence our 280HP 3.6L narrow-angle engine.
“Um. What’s a…never mind, I’ll keep reading these..facts..”
A transverse-mounted V-6 that can go tire to tire with just about any of our country counterparts.
You get the pun. “Tire to tire…that’s funny. Transverse-mounted wha….?”
This ad broke down your guard by telling you that they’ll be sincere, but they didn’t tell you they’d explain what the facts meant. We think “that sounds pretty high-tech” and we’re dazzled into considering the car when only a car mechanic would know what those terms mean. They could mean nothing! The car company could be telling us that there’s a narrow-angle engine (which is in every car) and a particularly stable review mirror with a magnification of 6. Don’t get dazzled by fancy terms.
“I think my hair deserves to go beyond one-tone colour.”
Woo. Good for you.
Three pictures of women with spotless faces, creamy skin, shining smiles and silky, smooth, liquid-like, illustrious two-toned hair that’s flowing in the wind.
I’m special. And if I buy this product, I’ll look like these women.
Have you ever wondered about that? You see a picture of a woman with clear, moisteurized skin and below her is a chart of comparisons and “clinically-proven,” “studies show” and “doctors reccomend” comments. You automatically think that if you buy the product and use it you’ll look like the woman in the picture. Have you ever thought that there might be no connection?
There really isn’t. The advertisers are using these pictures to illustrate their product, not prove it. The woman in the picture was picked out of hundreds of women for her nearly-flawless skin and dazzling smile, and even after that she was rendered in a image-manipulating program to make sure all blemishes were gone and her skin looked the way the advertisers wanted it to. This isn’t the way you’ll look if you use their product. It’s the way they want to you to think you’ll look, and it works.
My name: Ellen DeGeneres
Childhood ambition: To work with animals
Fondest memory: I can’t recall, but I’m sure I’m found of it.
Soundtrack: music.
Retreat: nature.
Wildest dream: to sleep more and dream
Indulgence: doing nothing
Last purchase: butter
My card: is American Express
“Wow…that’s cool. She uses that card? Well, I won’t be tricked into making American Express my card just because it’s Ellen DeGeneres’s card…….but…she sounds so much like a “normal person,” not some high and mighty movie star…perhaps American Express is the card for me…”
I’m a Stripper.
“Woah,” you think. “She’s what?”
I’m a Stripper, and I sleep just fine at night. Actually, it was my mom’s idea. She said she found the whole experience very freeing.
“Um…wow. I don’t think I really needed to know that…” And then you read the next sentence:
See, as an allergy sufferer, I used to think nasal congestion – and sleepless nights – were just a way of life. Then one day, Mom brought over some Breathe Right nasal stips. Naturally, I thought she was crazy, but I put one on before bed, and my life has never been the same. It immediately opened my nose, and just like that, I could breathe all night long! Now I wear one to breathe better every night. Maybe you should be a stipper, too.
“Oh.”
The tactic worked – you were shocked into reading more. When I saw those first two sentences I certainly kept reading. I was curious.
But I’m disgusted, really. Using a grotesque tactic that catches our attention by shocking us and then tricks us into reading their ad isn’t that healthy.
Tall, dark, and delicious. We decided to create the richest, most intensely flavoured chocolate possible and then set our sights even higher. That’s how the world’s first and finest organic chocolate was born. It begins with the best organically grown cocoa beans, handpicked and ground until they burst with pure, deep, dark flavour. Our chocolate is then stirred continuously to impart an exquisite velvety smooth sensation. At Green & Black’s, we take as much pleasure in cultivation this chocolate as you will in eating it. Well, almost. Green & Black’s – Made with passion. Consumed with pleasure.
Doesn’t that sound delicious? It sounds so rich and flavourful that I completely forgot that I don’t like dark chocolate.
We may be seduced into buying something because the components sound good or purely because the advertiser sweet-talked us. They might use the best ingrediants but they may be awful chocolate makers. They might stir the chocolate continuously, but they might burn it, too. Who knows what went on behind that smooth, dark chocolate bar.
I have a problem with these ads. Almost everyone has seen them. I’ll take an example from an Eggo ad:
An inflated picture of a stack of pancakes, a perfectly melting pat of butter on top and picturesque waterfalls of seemingly warm, glistening syrup. The caption on the bottom of the page says: Whole wheat and fiber have never been so warm and fluffy.
What’s wrong with this picture?
You think for a moment. Um…nothing…? They’re making their waffles nutritious…good for them!
No. What is a pancake? Answer me that. A pancake is basically bread, and with syrup it’s also sugar. So a pancake is bread and sugar. Does that sound nutritious? When you hear the phrases ”whole wheat” and “fiber” in a sentence, you automatically think that the pancakes are 100% good for you.
Personally, if I had nothing but pancakes (bread and sugar) for breakfast I would end up grouchy by the time lunch came around. So what if they’re whole wheat? It’s still just bread and sugar. And just because it’s whole wheat doesn’t mean it actually tastes good.
Thank you folks. My first post is finished.
